Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
