wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
