Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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