To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize