Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
