once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize