I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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