I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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