dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
If I had your ass I would rule the world
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
