Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
