Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize