bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Semen is not good for contacts.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
