So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
