Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
