If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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