You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
