and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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