Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
