He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
