why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
