I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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