im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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