take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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