I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Randomize
