i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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