Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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