can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
