So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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