That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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