Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
