O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
