I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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