Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize