He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
