If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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