One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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