i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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