I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
