My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
