You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
