Don't you send me to vm
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
