That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
We talked him into tasing himself.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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