I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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