I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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