Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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