she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
