Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
