Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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