Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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