do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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