my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
well you can't waste a boner
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
