If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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