dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
