If i come over, it means nothing
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Randomize
