I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
