gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
