I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize