I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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