im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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