rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize