Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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