before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize