Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
