I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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