Plan B is the new Plan A
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
