I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
