I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
