pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
party gras won. party gras always wins.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize