What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
