You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I accidentally burped into my bong.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize